If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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