You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
