I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
