i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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