my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
