All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
