All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
