You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
