Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
