wakey wakey hands off snakey
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
