Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
