then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
