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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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