Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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