community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
