My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
