Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
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