fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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