is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
