i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
