I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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