If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
