the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
