let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
