He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm always down for nudity.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
