So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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