remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
