If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
