That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
