I faked an abortion last night.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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