he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bring me that man meat
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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