He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
