brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
