Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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