At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
