I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
