i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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