dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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