It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
