Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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