nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
