FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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