Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
