only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
