I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
