you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
