Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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