the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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