i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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