the new term for farting is butt boxing.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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