That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
