her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
