I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
