its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
