yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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