I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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