sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
