Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
