Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
