So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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