I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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