I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
