You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
