his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
